BAMM It hit me ....

Date : 5 Juni 2007
Scene : At my office after five pm

You know what?
After i post my blog about FlashBack : Near Death Experience at the morning,
i was quite okay and can easily start to cheer up and restore my motivation.

Malemnya,
Gue sama temen-temen kantor gue makan malem bareng-bareng.
Awalnya, gue sempet ngomong ke mereka, udah lah kita bahas yang lain aja selain my probs.
Tapi kenyataannya masih aja ada yang brought up dan jadilah kita becanda becanda.

At first,
Gue ngga feel apa-apa karena i said to myself that life must go on, dan gue ngga mungkin dong murung terus kaya gini dan got inspired by the words "Why make life so complicated".
As i started to rise up from a fall,
Ngga lama kemudian ada temen kita lagi yang baru resign dari kantor joined us.
I am still okay when suddenly it came out from nowhere that my friend brought up again my probs to make it as a joke.
I was like,
*O gosh, i think it kinda made me lil bit need happy thoughts fast*

Why?
I wouldnt bother if the jokes about my probs is still in a circle of my friends at the office,
But the fact that, let say that the one that already resign happened to be the one who doesnt know what my probs are will start asking about it and force one of us to tell what does it mean kinda made me worried.

Worried for what?
Worried that i could not stand still and worried that what if i cannot hide it by covering up with laugh and other else.

As my other friend started to questioning what is it about,
I was pretty sure that i looked at my friend and try to send a signal that u must stop it right now.
That person seemed to look at me, but i guess miss-interpret my signal.
And there it goes, still joking about me...
Maybe my friend know me that im invulnerable of any kinds of jokes.

But at that time...

BAMM ... It hit me...

That does it i said.
Im pissed...

As i leave them,
I started to calm my feelings, started to think of happy thoughts, started to recover myself.
Im only human.
So many probs started to flash in my head and i really couldnt think.
Gosh, it triggered all my probs gini so sudden.
All that i post in the morning was being tested.
I failed......... Im only human ........

Tapi ngga lama setelah itu,
I can handle it.

Setelah ketemu sama anak-anak lagi, naik lah kita ke lantai 10.
Gue udah mulai bisa melupakan kejadian tadi karena gue nya emang lagi sensi aja.
Masih deh kita becanda-becanda lagi.
Sampai pada satu momen, gue jadi bete lagi karena something.....
That does it.....
Gue kayanya bener-bener need a break nih...
Alhasil nada gue mulai sdikit tinggi dan gue harus diem dulu....

Mungkin gue ngga akan seperti ini kalo masalah gue ngga overload in my head...
Mungkin banyak temen-temen gue yang menilai gue memang kebal dengan celaan dan sgala macamnya...

Well, in fact...
Im only human..
It just hit me ........

X.O.X.O